


Two Pillows

by Dogsocks



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: But also maybe romance, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Friendship, Insomnia, Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, POV Alternating, Platonic Relationships, Sleep Deprivation, Training Camp, it's really vague though, probably, read it however you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24893314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dogsocks/pseuds/Dogsocks
Summary: Kuroo forgot his pillows.Bothof his pillows are at home, right by the fucking stairs, probably no more than four feet from the door. And now he’s stuck at a training camp for a week-- withnopillows, let alonehispillows-- and he still has to somehow get his neurotic ass to sleep. This is not good. This is so so so not good.“It’ll be fine,” he mumbles. “I’m not seven anymore, Kenma. I’m probably just overreacting.”Spoiler: It's not fine.
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 12
Kudos: 242





	Two Pillows

**Author's Note:**

> I should really be finishing my other ongoing fic, but I had the urge to write this one shot at 3am and just kind of went for like eight hours until it was done and also way longer than I expected. The whole thing is based off a random headcannon about why Kuroo sleeps the way he does. It's mostly just Kuroo being tired and having good friends, but that's what I want in a fic so here you go. Enjoy.
> 
> Also, I wrote this as a platonic relationship but you can probably read it as romantic or pre-romantic if you want.

Kuroo lets out a content sigh as he makes his way down the dim hallways that lead from the showers back to the room that Nekoma is staying in. He tries to dry his hair a little along the way, but honestly, the damp locks feel kind of nice in this summer heat. This is also the most tame his hair will ever look, until it starts drying more fully anyways. 

Actually, ya know what? He’s gonna enjoy these few bedhead-free minutes while he can. He lets the towel drop to his shoulders as he rounds the corner.

Despite the gradually increasing commotion as he approaches the rooms where people are currently goofing off and setting up their sleeping arrangements, he actually feels incredibly relaxed. Part of that is probably just due to physical exhaustion. He loves these training camps, but they definitely tire him out unlike anything else, especially with all the extra practice him and his friends do. And _especially_ when one of those people is the human battery known as Bokuto Koutarou. It’s fun, but man, does he need to sleep after a full day of that.

Kuroo briefly pops into a few of the other rooms to talk to people, taking advantage of one of the few moments of relaxed social interaction that isn’t during a tightly scheduled meal time or at risk of being cut short by a whistle. But, it’s not long before he’s sluggishly dragging himself into his own team’s quarters for the night. 

He glances around, eventually spotting where he had quickly dropped all his stuff when they got here this morning. For now, he just tosses his towel and his practice clothes haphazardly with the rest of his things. He can deal with putting them away properly in the morning. At the moment, all he really cares about is getting to bed. He just needs--

He just-- 

Hold on. 

He looks around.

Where are they? I mean, they have to be here. They have to. They were with the rest of his stuff earlier, weren’t they? Why wouldn't they be? Maybe someone moved them for some reason, or took them by mistake, but he doesn’t see them anywhere in the whole room. There’s nothing they could be behind or under. So where the hell are they? 

He looks around frantically, counting heads to see who's in the room and who's not. Does someone else have them? Did someone take them on _purpose_? Hide them? Is this some kind of joke? Someone’s stupid idea of a harmless prank? Because it’s really not funny, and _he's_ about to cause some harm once he finds out who's responsible. 

Kuroo doesn't know who'd be dumb enough to mess with his stuff, but that has to be what's happening, right? There's no other explanation. 

Unless...

Well he knows he grabbed them when he was packing. He remembers putting them by the stairs with everything else. He even double checked, but he _was_ in kind of a rush when he was leaving. He's never in that much of a rush, but his alarm didn't go off and he overslept. 

He remembers grabbing all his stuff in a hurry and running out the door. Obviously took his duffle bag and his gym bag since he’s staring at them right now. It was all by the stairs, but he doesn’t remember if he grabbed… 

He didn't have them on the bus ride either, did he? He can't remember… 

Maybe he didn't. 

His stomach actually drops at the realization that he’d somehow _forgotten_ them. You’ve gotta be fucking kidding right now. 

Kuroo forgot his pillows. 

_Both_ of his pillows are at home, right by the fucking stairs, probably no more than four feet from the door. And now he’s stuck at a training camp for a week-- with _no_ pillows, let alone _his_ pillows-- and he still has to somehow get his neurotic ass to sleep. This is not good. This is so so so not good. 

Of all the things to forget, why that? And _how_? He's usually so careful. 

“Kuro, where are you gonna set up your bed?” Kenma mumbles suddenly from somewhere behind him, but he barely registers it, still staring blankly at the floor in front of him trying to figure out how he could be this incredibly stupid. “Kuro?” Kenma repeats, and Kuroo must look distressed or something, because even Kenma has an edge of concern in his monotone voice. “You okay?”

He shakes his head a little, his shoulders sagging. “I’m an idiot, Kenma.”

“And this time is different than usual, how?”

“I forgot my pillows. They’re at home,” he states, and as stupid as that small dilemma would sound to anyone else, Kenma is probably the one person here who actually understands the severity of that statement. It’s not just uncomfortable or inconvenient; Kuroo physically cannot fall asleep without both of his pillows. He’s never been able to, meaning his exhausted self is probably about to get no sleep and then have to practice bright and early tomorrow morning.

“Shit,” Kenma mumbles, biting his lip as he thinks. 

“Yeah. Shit,” Kuroo mirrors, trying to come to terms with the fact that he’s about to pull an involuntary all-nighter at a fucking training camp. This thing is a week long, what the hell is he supposed to do? Not sleep for an entire week? A week of _constant_ physical exertion? Yeah right. At best, he’ll probably just collapse entirely on day three.

Ya know what? Let's look on the bright side, shall we? Maybe he’ll be able to get _some_ kind of rest tonight. Who knows? After all, it’s been years since he’s even tried sleeping without his pillows; maybe at this point he’ll be okay. He’s pretty much a grown ass man, can he really not go a few days away from home without his stupid pillows? At the very least he can hopefully get an hour or two of sleep somewhere within eight hours of tossing and turning, right? 

God, just the thought of that is utterly exhausting. It’s not even lights out yet and he’s already dreading it. Looking on the bright side is starting to feel more like some kind of sick fever dream. 

“Do you want my pillow?” Kenma finally asks. “I mean, I know it’s not the same, but it’s probably better than nothing.” Kuroo smiles at the gesture, especially coming from Kenma, but he shakes his head.

“Nah, I appreciate it, but we both know you need it. Last time you slept without a pillow you complained about your neck hurting for three days,” Kuroo points out. “I’d rather have one of us miserable tomorrow than both of us.” Kenma just hums, back to thinking again.

“You can use one of my pillows,” Kai offers from his own futon nearby where he must have overheard them talking. “I usually use two, but I’m not a fussy sleeper. I’ll be fine either way,” he insists, tossing one of them to Kuroo.

“Are you sure?” he asks nervously. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Kai answers with a smile, clearly not taking no for an answer here. 

“Thanks,” Kuroo mumbles back, but he still feels bad-- partly because Kai deserves to use the pillow that he was smart enough to bring for himself, and partly because deep down he knows this one pillow isn’t even gonna change a thing. It’s not the same. He’s better off just letting Kai use it.

“We can ask around and try to commandeer another pillow if you want,” Kenma offers. “That way you’ll at least have two.” It warms his heart to think that Kenma cares enough to volunteer for any amount of extra social interaction just because he knows Kuroo is too considerate to ask people himself. Seriously, he already doesn’t want to be borrowing the pillow he has, and that one was _offered_ to him.

“I don’t really think it’s gonna make a difference,” he admits softly, already accepting defeat as he finally moves from his bag to the open futon next to Kai.

“You could always just call your dad,” Kenma suggests quietly as he follows him to the next futon over. “You know it’s not really that far from here.” 

“No, it’s fine. I’m not gonna bug him over something this stupid,” he replies with a shake of his head. 

“It’s not stupid, Kuroo. You can’t just _not_ sleep.”

“Yeah, well I also can’t just call my dad in the middle of the night like some kind of child at their first sleepover,” Kuroo replies. He feels bad enough as it is; he doesn’t need to be inconveniencing even more people over a mistake he made. “Pretty sure he wouldn’t be thrilled to be woken up by a phone call from his seventeen year old son who can’t sleep at fucking volleyball camp.” 

“I mean, it’s not ideal, but you know he’d understand. He’s probably been thinking about it since he noticed you left them behind, knowing him,” Kenma points out. He’s not wrong, but it doesn’t make Kuroo feel any better about the situation. He sighs, plopping face first into Kai’s pillow.

“It’ll be fine,” he mumbles into the fabric before turning his head to the side. “I’m not seven anymore, Kenma. I’m probably just overreacting.”

Kenma just hums like he doesn’t believe him.

“Seriously, it’s fine.”

It’s not fine. It’s really _really_ not fine.

He tried, he really did, but so far, he’s had no luck. Seriously, how can you be this fucking tired and not just fall asleep? It’s ridiculous! He’s been tossing and turning uncomfortably for hours, but nothing feels right and no matter what he does, he remains painfully awake. 

He even tried laying perfectly still for fifteen minutes or whatever, which was way harder than he was expecting it to be. Apparently that’s supposed to get your body to shut down for the night, but nope. He tried laying still for even longer. Still nope. 

He tried breathing exercises, he tried making little lists in his head, going over tomorrows schedule, consciously relaxing his muscles from his head all the way down to his stupid toes. Absolutely nothing. He even dug his headphones out of his bag and tried listening to a handful of meditation and sleep videos, which were more or less relaxing, but they didn't actually put him to sleep. Eventually his phone died anyways and he was forced to plug in in across the room.

He's been awake for so long now that for the first time he actually sees Kenma turn off his phone and roll over to sleep. 

And of course, since he’s awake, his mind is going haywire for no reason. He tried counting sheep to give his brain _something_ to focus on, but he gave up somewhere in the four hundreds. Besides, he keeps getting distracted by all the _noise _.__

Someone will start snoring, or mumbling, or breathing heavy, or roll over, or shift, or get up to use the bathroom. Even when it’s quiet it’s not actually quiet. The air vents hum, the building settles, the wildlife makes noise, everyone _breathes_.

He sits up abruptly because he really can’t fucking _take_ it anymore. Besides, he never moves around this much and he’s starting to worry that all his sleepless thrashing is disturbing other people. 

__He gets up as quietly as he can, creeping around the other sleeping boys to the doorway and then finally escaping into the hall._ _

__For a while he walks aimlessly around the dark school because it feels better than just laying on the floor waiting for sleep that will never come, but eventually he gets tired of standing and plops down against a wall. In retrospect, he probably shouldn’t be wasting his energy._ _

He could always just mess around on his phone until morning like Kenma. That would at least give him something to do with the next several hours, but it would also probably just hurt his eyes and keep him awake. And yeah, he’s awake anyways, but he _wants_ to be asleep.

__He lets his head fall back against the bricks and closes his eyes. Resting isn’t as good as sleep, but it does still have some benefits. He supposes at this point it’s better than nothing. Clearing your mind and giving some of your neurons a break is kind of the point of a rest like this, but it’s probably not as effective when all he can do is think about how fucked he’s gonna be tomorrow at practice._ _

__God, why is he like this? Why couldn’t he just be a normal person with a normal ability to sleep under completely normal circumstances?_ _

____

***

Bokuto is pretty sure he’s never had to pee this bad in his life as he scurries down the dark hallway, trying to remember where the fuck the bathroom in this place is. Staying hydrated is important and all, especially in this heat, but he really shouldn’t have drank so much water right before bed.

He finds the door relatively quickly, thank god, probably setting some kind of world record for the longest midnight piss before heading back out into the maze to find their room again. 

Seriously, everything around here looks the same in the dark, it's ridiculous. He thinks he's seen this same photography club poster next to that vending machine about ten times… unless there's just a bunch of them and it's not the same ones. Well, then why the hell are they set up so identically? It's like they're _trying_ to confuse him. 

He’s so distracted with sleepily scanning the rooms that the sight of a dark silhouette in the hallway as he rounds the corner would’ve scared the piss out of him if he had any left. Upon closer inspection it is in fact another human, thankfully, and an even closer look at the shadowy figure reveals that it’s actually Kuroo. And he’s apparently just… sitting on the floor. 

“What the heck are you doin’ out here?” 

“Jeez!” Kuroo gasps, his eyes flying open. “Dude, you scared the _shit_ out of me, what the hell?” 

“Sorry, I thought you would’ve heard me walking up,” he apologizes. “Were you asleep just now or something?” 

“Oh god, I wish,” Kuroo groans, rubbing his hands over his face. Does that mean he hasn’t slept at all yet? Or maybe something woke him up and he can’t get back to sleep. “What are you even doing up?” Kuroo continues before Bokuto can ask the same thing.

“Bathroom,” he answers, gesturing over his shoulder. "I was in a rush though, so maybe that's why I didn't see you on my way there," he adds, realizing Kuroo has probably been out here the whole time that Bokuto has been awake. Then again, maybe he didn't pass him at all and he's actually just more lost than he thought. 

"You were in that much of a rush?" Kuroo chuckles. 

“Bro, I had to pee so bad when I woke up, I swear to god I almost pissed myself.”

Kuroo laughs, but the lack of his usual energy in it reminds Bokuto that people aren’t usually up in the middle of the night just chilling in the hallway, especially Kuroo. He sounds so tired.

“So what are you doing out here anyway? Do you wanna walk back with me?” Bokuto asks, pointing down the hall towards the general direction he probably came from. Maybe. “By that I mean I’m kinda lost,” he admits, earning himself another tired laugh.

"Of course you are."

"Hey, it's not my fault all these hallways look exactly the same!" Bokuto argues.

"Well, you're not wrong," Kuroo admits, his eyes landing on one of those stupid, identically-placed photo club posters. “Anyways, I just can’t sleep. Decided to walk around for a bit.”

"But you were just sitting here."

"For a _bit_ ," Kuroo repeats. "Evidently, that bit is over. This is the sitting on the ground bit."

“Wait, so you can't sleep _at all_?” Bokuto asks incredulously, plopping down beside his friend. It’s gotta be at least 2am or something by now. Kuroo just shakes his head in response. “Dude, that’s not good for you,” he whines.

“Trust me, I’m well aware.”

“How come you can’t sleep? Is it cuz sleeping at a school is weird? Are you one of those people that can only sleep good at home? Wait, does this happen every year?” Bokuto asks with increasing alarm. He would feel so bad if Kuroo has been awake all by himself every training camp for the past three years without him even knowing. What kind of friend does that make him?

“No, it’s not like that,” Kuroo assures. “Sleeping here usually doesn't bother me."

" _Usually_ , as in right now it does bother you?" Bokuto asks, confused as to how this is all supposed to connect. 

"Not exactly. Me not being able to sleep has nothing to do with where we are," he answers vaguely. Now that he mentions it, Kuroo has stayed over once or twice and he's never had a problem getting to sleep. 

"So what is it then?"

"It’s kinda dumb. It doesn’t really matter anyways,” he dismisses quickly. “Here, I’ll walk you back,” he offers, already moving to stand up, but Bokuto pushes him back against the wall before he’s even off the ground, earning a surprised glance from Kuroo.

“Of course it matters,” Bokuto states with a worried look on his face. Why the hell wouldn’t it matter? He looks Kuroo directly in the eyes, trying to get a read on his expression beyond his nonchalant dismissal of the whole situation, but the other boy just looks down.

“Bokuto, it’s really okay--”

“No it’s not,” he interrupts firmly. “You’re sitting in a dark school hallway all by yourself waiting for what? For the fucking sun to come up? And then what? I mean, we have to practice all day tomorrow! Seriously Kuroo! How the hell can you look at me and try to tell me that’s okay, like I'll just agree with you and call it a night?”

“Look, it’s not like I can help it!” he shouts frustratedly. Bokuto flinches a little at the reaction, taking his hand back from where it was still on the other boy’s chest. “You think I _wanna_ be awake right now? I’m not exactly thrilled about the situation either! Sorry for not wanting to make my stupid problems yours.” 

Bokuto thinks maybe he overstepped a little as he curls back in on himself. Yeah, he didn’t really need to say any of that stuff, did he? Stupid. It’s none of his business. Kuroo clearly doesn’t want to talk to him about it, and that’s fine. He shouldn’t have to. Why would he? Maybe he should just go--

He shifts to stand up but he’s startled out of his thoughts by a hand on his wrist. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you,” Kuroo says softly, taking his hand back to press his fingers to his temples. "I'm just really frustrated and tired and shit. It has nothing to do with you, I promise."

"It's okay," Bokuto responds, scooting closer so he's back where he was before flinching away, their shoulders just barely touching. 

“Look, I know you mean well, it’s just-- it is what it is at this point,” Kuroo sighs, slumping back down from his previously tense posture. "Getting other people involved won't fix anything."

"But maybe I can help," Bokuto tries optimistically.

"I appreciate the concern, but I don't think this is the kind of thing you can really help with, Bo."

“How do you know if you won't even tell me what's wrong?” he persists. “Come on, I promise I won’t think it’s dumb.” Kuroo still hesitates, looking at Bokuto then directing his gaze across the hall instead.

Maybe he really just doesn't want Bokuto to know. Maybe this would be different if he were Kenma or something. Maybe it's just the fact that it's Bokuto asking that's making him spout all these excuses. Is it his fault somehow? But Kuroo said it wasn't. Or maybe he was just talking about the yelling and not the actual problem.

Kuroo contemplates for a very long, anxiety-filled moment. He glances over at Bokuto fidgeting nervously before he seems to finally cave in, letting his arms fall heavily to his sides. “Look, I just left both of my pillows at home by accident. That's it,” he explains finally. “And I know it sounds incredibly stupid and dramatic but I _literally_ can’t sleep without them. At all. I was actually really hoping that maybe I grew out of it by now, but apparently not. Anyways, Kai gave me one of his pillows to use, but I still tossed and turned for hours before I even came out here.”

“Do you want to borrow my pillow? That way you can at least have two,” Bokuto offers. “I could fall asleep on the wooden gym floors with no problems if I had to, I promise I don’t need it.”

“Nah, that’s okay,” he dismisses quickly. “In all honesty, I don’t really think it’ll help.”

“What do you mean?"

Kuroo sighs again, resting his chin on his knees. He’s silent for so long that Bokuto almost thinks he’s gonna ignore the question completely before he finally speaks up again.

“When I was a really little kid my parents would fight all the time,” he starts quietly, taking Bokuto a bit by surprise with the sudden change in topic. “My mom was actually kind of abusive. More so to my dad than to me, in retrospect, but she still scared me,” he explains casually, though his fingers fiddle restlessly with the hem of his sweatpants as he talks. 

Bokuto doesn’t even know how to react or if he’s supposed to respond. He knew Kuroo was raised by a single dad, and his grandparents too if he’s remembering right, but he never knew _why_. In all honesty, he had kind of just assumed she had passed away when he was little or something since he never talked about seeing her. Even Kenma never knew Kuroo's mom, and they've been friends since elementary school.

“Anyways, it would get really loud when they fought, so I would get scared and go hide somewhere out of the way, but I could always hear it,” Kuroo continues. “Anywhere I went I could still hear it. So, I would lay face down on my bed-- or under it, or in a closet, or wherever was farthest from the noise-- and I would cover each ear with one of my pillows, pretend I was somewhere else until I fell asleep and my dad found me afterwards to bring me to my actual bed.” 

“I’m sorry,” Bokuto mumbles in the brief silence that follows. 

“It’s alright. It’s way in the past now,” Kuroo reminds him. “It wasn’t a super long period in my life either. I mean, I barely knew her.”

“It’s still awful,” Bokuto replies, feeling his heart break for poor little baby Kuroo, going to bed scared almost every night. Bokuto wordlessly opens up his arms and Kuroo lets himself lean over into the embrace, his head still on his knees as Bokuto squeezes him tight.

“I’m pretty sure you already knew my mom isn’t in the picture anymore, but the point is, apparently sleeping like that became a habit to the point where I can’t fall asleep any other way,” he explains, the conversation finally coming full circle. “It comes at the cost of my lovely perpetual bedhead, but it’s the price I pay for a good night's sleep.” 

“I don’t think I can ever look at your bedhead the same way,” Bokuto comments sadly, only half joking, but it still gets a chuckle out of Kuroo that he can feel hum through his own chest.

“Don’t think about it too hard, Bo. It’s really not a big deal anymore,” Kuroo says eventually, probably sensing the half of Bokuto that wasn’t joking. "The family I still have has always been amazing. If anything, I'm pretty lucky," he adds, trying to cheer Bokuto up even though it should really be the other way around.

“So wait, why can’t you just use my pillow and Kai's the same way?” Bokuto asks, remembering the question that had prompted this whole conversation. 

“Well I also realized at some point that it’s not the same if it’s not _my_ pillows. I guess it’s a comfort thing or whatever,” he answers with a shrug. “I’ve had the same ones for way too long, but it’s because I quite literally can’t sleep without them, hence why me forgetting my pillows is a bigger deal than it probably should be.” 

“I’m sorry. This really sucks,” Bokuto says, wishing he had better words to offer. He's glad Kuroo was willing to open up to him, but it's looking like he was right before after all. Bokuto really can't help that much here. It's not like he can just make the pillows appear with a snap of his fingers. 

“It’s my own fault for not having my shit together in the first place,” Kuroo mumbles.

“Still, you don't deserve this much trouble for it.”

"I guess."

After that they fall into a long silence, just sitting together in the hallway. Kuroo eventually lets his head fall to the side to rest against Bokuto’s chest, and Bokuto lets his hand wander through that mess of black hair, although it’s admittedly a little less messy than usual. 

No one else wakes up in however much time goes by while they’re out there, or if they did, they used a different hallway. After a while in the calm silence, Bokuto thinks Kuroo may actually be asleep. He can just barely see that his eyes are closed, and he can feel his deep, even breaths. Bokuto almost begins to doze off again himself after a while. 

“You should get back to bed,” Kuroo whispers suddenly, jolting Bokuto back to reality. “I can tell you’re falling asleep.”

“Not gonna lie, I thought you were asleep too,” Bokuto admits with a laugh. “I was afraid to move.”

“Nah, I’ve been awake,” Kuroo chuckles. “It was nice though. Felt better than rolling around on a futon like a dead fish,” he adds as he pulls away from Bokuto’s grasp and gets to his feet. He holds out his hands, helping Bokuto’s sluggish dead weight into a standing position before starting down the hallway.

“Do you wanna at least _try _borrowing my pillow?” Bokuto asks as they approach the room where his team is sleeping. “I mean, I know it might not work, but it can’t hurt to try. It really won't make a difference to me.”__

__“It’s alright. I'd rather you have it,” Kuroo insists with a wave of his hand. Bokuto gives him a skeptical look, but he’s too tired to argue._ _

__“Fine, but if you change your mind, come wake me up, okay?”_ _

__“Deal,” Kuroo chuckles._ _

__“I mean it,” Bokuto persists._ _

__“Okay, okay. I promise,” Kuroo says with a goofy grin and his hands up in mock surrender, but his tone is sincere._ _

__Bokuto nods, satisfied, before shuffling back to bed._ _

____

***

This is fucking torture. He doesn’t know what he did to earn himself this very personal brand of hell.

When Kuroo has both of his pillows, he’s out like a light. He can’t remember the last time he's had any trouble falling asleep, let alone laying awake for _hours on end_. And it’s seriously fucking torture. He can’t take it anymore, he can’t.

This is torture to the point that he somehow manages to throw all logical thought processes out the window for long enough to end up in the doorway to the room that Fukurodani is staying in, clinging to the doorframe like a creep as he longingly watches them all peacefully sleeping. He gets about three steps in the room before stopping.

What the fuck is he doing?

This was a bad idea. This was a terrible idea. What was he thinking? First of all, Bokuto is fast asleep and he already wasted part of his night. He doesn’t want to wake him up at all, but at the same time Bokuto will probably be mad tomorrow if he doesn’t. He's not sure which one will be worse.

Still, even if he did want to wake him up, he has somehow completely overlooked the fact that Bokuto is the heaviest sleeper in the world. If he were to actually wake him up, he’d probably end up waking up half their team by accident in the process. He’s not gonna be that much of an asshole. Nope. No. Not worth it. Abort mission. Goodbye.

He’s creeping back to the door when he steps on the loudest creaky board he’s ever heard in his life. Of course he does. 

He whips around to see if he disturbed anyone, and while most of the team is thankfully unphased, a sleepy pair of eyes are squinting back at him, trying to figure out the current situation.

Akaashi groggily blinks a few times before seeming to deduct that he was in here for Bokuto and chickened out. He holds up a finger as an indication to wait, so Kuroo stays frozen halfway to the door, like a deer in the headlights. Akaashi rolls over, taking a minute to expertly jostle Bokuto into a half awake state without causing a scene, before pointing at Kuroo, still frozen mid-escape. 

Recognition comes over Bokuto’s face and without a word he gets up, hands Kuroo his pillow, pats him on the back, then flops back onto his futon. Akaashi looks mildly confused at the interaction, but eventually just rolls back over, perfectly content to find out in the morning instead.

Back in Nekoma’s room, Kuroo collapses onto his futon, crushes his head between the two pillows, and proceeds to lay there awake until people’s alarms start going off.

***

“It didn’t work?” Bokuto asks around a mouthful of food, disappointed at the tired shake of Kuroo’s head in response. He looked tired last night but he looks absolutely exhausted today. The bags under his eyes are prominent as he leans his head heavily in his hand, looking dazed as he absentmindedly shovels rice into his mouth.

“I’ll give you your pillow back before bed,” Kuroo mutters. "Kai too."

“Kuro, you have to call your dad,” Kenma states suddenly, leaving little room for argument. 

“Eat your whole damn breakfast for once and maybe I’ll consider it,” Kuroo teases.

“Kuro, I’m serious. You can’t expect to survive the whole week like this,” he continues. "It's been one night and you're already a sluggish mess."

“Hey, I’m serious too,” Kuroo retorts, ignoring the last comment as he pokes at Kenma’s mostly untouched food with his chopsticks. “Eat your freakin’ vegetables or I'll be forced to make you, and it won't be enjoyable.”

“Don’t change the subject,” Akaashi interjects, narrowing his eyes at him. “This isn’t a joke, Kuroo-san. We’re all worried about you. You look awful. Do you really think none of the coaches will notice?” Kuroo deflates a little at the comment, but he doesn’t argue.

“I know,” he grumbles, setting down his chopsticks. “But it’s just so ridiculous and it’s so fucking _embarrasing_ ,” he finally admits, hiding his face in his hands. “I don’t wanna make my dad drive all the way here just for that. I’m supposed to be the captain and I look like a fucking four year old.”

“Dude, come on. You know they’re right,” Bokuto chimes in. “What other choice do you have? One pillow didn’t work. Two pillows didn’t work. You need yours, so what? It’s not worth all this, man.”

“I know,” he groans, looking up so his chin is in his hands. “I just feel like such an _idiot_. My dad is gonna think I'm an idiot for forgetting them, everyone here is gonna think I'm an idiot for needing them, the coaches are gonna think I'm an idiot for not sleeping.”

“You’re gonna feel like even more of an idiot if you miss the majority of the summer training camp because you got taken out on a stretcher after collapsing mid-practice,” Akaashi points out.

“Kuroo, we’re third years!” Bokuto remembers suddenly. “You’re not allowed to miss out on our final camp together!” he declares, hitting the table hard enough to draw a few glances.

“You’re right, you’re right. Fuck,” Kuroo sighs, putting his hand on his temples. “Whatever, I guess I’ll call him after breakfast or something.”

“If you don’t, I will,” Bokuto declares.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

It’s around mid afternoon when Kuroo’s dad shows up at the gym with a pair of pillows clutched to his chest. They’re all taking a break between drills, so everyone is just hanging around chatting as they catch their breath and get some water while the coaches converse. Despite not being busy at the moment, Bokuto doesn’t even notice the man standing awkwardly in the doorway until Karasuno’s captain jogs over and points him out. 

“Kuroo, there’s someone here looking for you,” he relays dutifully, pointing over his shoulder. Bokuto waves happily when he finally sees him, and Kuroo’s dad smiles back. They’ve only met once or twice, but hopefully he remembers who he is. 

“Oh shit, thanks,” Kuroo responds quickly, his usual confidence replaced with immediate embarrassment the second he sees his dad in the doorway. “I’ll be right back,” he mutters before jogging towards the door, trying to subtly motion for his dad to go back outside. 

A few kids look up to see what’s happening before going back to idley chatting. Bokuto thinks nothing of it at first, about to drag Akaashi with him to go bother that tall middle blocker from Karasuno when he suddenly hears what a group of people behind him are snickering about.

“Awe look at that. Nekoma’s big bad captain needs daddy to bring him his pillow.”

“It’s probably his first sleepover.”

“I always pegged him as more of a momma’s boy.”

Bokuto doesn’t think he’s ever turned around so fast in his fucking life. He glares at the small cluster of what appears to be mostly first years from various teams. None of them are starters, that’s for sure. Bokuto must actually look as mad as he feels cuz they shut up pretty damn quick the second he’s turned around. 

Even Akaashi seems taken aback and Bokuto realizes that he must not have ever seen him mad before, not for real. Not like this. He doesn’t know if he’s ever been this furious. Maybe it's because they remind him of the kind of kids that used to pick on him. Maybe it's cuz he knows what it feels like, and he knows _damn_ well Kuroo doesn't deserve it. They don't know anything. They have no idea what he's been through. They have no right to say those things so casually like it doesn't matter. They don't _get _it.__

__On that note, Kenma must be thinking the same thing. Bokuto can see him nearby and he doesn’t think he’s ever seen that boy so outwardly angry either. He's usually this very unsettling, quiet type of angry, but right now he looks about ready to snap someone’s neck. It kind of seems like he might actually say something about it, but he waits when he sees Bokuto start to slowly walk up to the group, his body moving on it’s own before his brain has even decided what to do beyond 'be outraged'._ _

__“Care to repeat that?” he asks, his voice menacingly low compared to his usual upbeat tone. He doesn't even sound like himself._ _

__Bokuto doesn’t usually feel that tall. Volleyball is a sport for tall guys; a hundred and eighty-five centimeters is average, maybe even below average, in pro volleyball. But right now, walking up to these cowering little first years, he feels like a fucking giant, and they’re all ants. Miserable little ants._ _

__“No? Nobody? But you were all laughing so hard just a second ago." As he talks, a few of the kids near the edge try to slowly sneak away. "Hey, get back over here, I'm not blind," he interrupts suddenly, watching them stop in their tracks. "Come on, I love a good joke. So tell me, what the hell is so funny?” Bokuto prompts, still eerily calm despite the fire inside him. He doesn’t even know where he’s mustering up this much control from. He wants to be screaming. “For a bunch of loud mouthed little brats, you’ve all gone awfully quiet.” The words fly without so much as passing through his brain first. It's like they're coming from somewhere else entirely._ _

__There’s still no response, no one bold enough to lie or defend themselves, just a small crowd of scared faces watching him. It's the look of someone who thought they could get away with being an asshole, as long as it was behind someone's back, where it's supposedly safe. Bokuto has never wanted to prove someone wrong more. He's not as helpless as he used to be either. For the first time, he _can_. _ _

__He takes another step, causing the boys to shuffle back. “If you're gonna talk shit, you idiots better watch who you do it around. And let me tell you right now, this ain't the place for it," he starts, dropping the sarcastic confused act. "Don’t _ever_ bad mouth someone, especially someone you know absolutely nothing about. You have no idea what someone else is going through," he scolds, half for Kuroo and half just what he wishes he could've said to any bully who ever made fun of him in the past. "It's not cool, it's not funny, and it sure as hell won't be tolerated around here, do you understand?” He waits, looking them all over. “Do. You. Under. Stand. Me?” he repeats impatiently, receiving a couple frantic nods. _ _

__“Good. Especially since sometimes you might accidentally say something really insensitive like, oh I don’t know, a mom related joke about someone who grew up without a mother for instance. That would really suck, huh?” he says with a tight grin, eyeing the kid who practically stopped breathing at that comment. Little shit. If looks could kill, Kenma would've just made that kid explode._ _

__“Did you know that the guy you’re all so quick to make fun of didn’t get a wink of sleep last night? Not one minute." Bokuto asks, raising his eyebrows at them. A few of them shake their heads. "You probably didn't know because he hasn't mentioned it, nor has he complained about it once," he points out, glancing at a couple kids from Shinzen that were whining loudly about penalties earlier who jump a little at being singled out._ _

__"And yet despite that," Bokuto continues, "He’s somehow got a better attitude than all of you, he's putting in more effort, and he's still _easily_ playing circles around you,” Bokuto points out, making sure to look at every single one of them. “Your blocks are full of holes. Your receives are sloppy. Your spikes need work. Your serving is mediocre _at best_. I could go on-- and yes, I pay attention. I’m not as dumb as you probably call me when I’m not around,” he continues, rambling now. Apparently he’s getting a little louder too because a few people have stopped their conversations to see what’s going on._ _

__“You all came to this camp to get better, right?” he asks, receiving another wave of quick nods. “So tell me, how is it that the people here with the most to learn somehow have the spare time on their hands to be talking shit about one of the most hardworking people here, and a _captain_ at that?” Again, there’s silence. "I guarantee you, Kuroo genuinely wants every single one of you to succeed. He wants to help you. That's just the kind of guy he is. He really cares ya know, and you have the _nerve_ to talk about him behind his back. I hope you feel like shit right now, and I hope you remember this feeling next time," he states bluntly. Most of the kids can't even meet his gaze anymore, their eyes glued to the floor._ _

__“Look guys, people aren't perfect. I’m a forgiving person, isn’t that right Akaashi?” Bokuto asks over his shoulder to the smirking second year._ _

__“Of course.”_ _

__“See? And Akaashi would never lie. I believe in second chances. Only thing is, I don't give them out for free. You gotta earn 'em,” he adds. “Anyone who made a shitty comment, I want a lap-- around the _gyms_ , not the courts. Before you consider it, you will regret trying to cheat your way out of this. I promise you that. And ya know, maybe I won't find out," he admits with a shrug, "But do you wanna risk finding out what happens if I do?" A few kids shake their heads. _ _

__"I also don’t care if I’m your captain or not. I don't care that I'm not a coach," he states for all the kids looking around skeptically wondering if they really have to do this. "This is not a suggestion, it's an order. _Go_ ,” he commands, and a handful of nervous kids bolt for the door, probably glad just to finally get away. _ _

__“If you were just laughing along. I still want a lap.” At that, a few more kids reluctantly jog towards the door. “And if you’re standing here thinking I didn’t see or hear you, keep in mind, I can smell guilt. I want a lap.” There’s silence for a few more seconds as he looks around, and gradually a few more people sneak towards the door._ _

__Around the edges of the gym, people are still blissfully unaware as they continue their conversations, but the people nearest to him just watch in shock as he turns around to head back towards Akaashi, like they’re waiting for him to say more._ _

__“What are you guys so scared for?” he asks over his shoulder, back to his normal self as he gestures for them to go back to what they were doing. It's not like they did anything wrong. “Come on. Disperse.”_ _

__“I don’t think any of them were prepared to see _you_ get seriously mad, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi points out with a chuckle. “No one’s ever seen that before. It was quite alarming, honestly.”_ _

__“Oh, don’t worry. You guys are fine,” Bokuto addresses to the general area around him. “It’s pretty hard to make me mad. Probably just don’t make fun of my friends right in front of me,” he says with a shrug, looking back to Akaashi._ _

__“That was impressive,” Akaashi comments. “I didn’t know Mr. Positive-Reinforcement had that kind of scolding power in him.”_ _

__“I’m so glad you did that,” Kenma interjects as he approaches the pair. “Two more seconds and I was about to just start assaulting people at random.”_ _

__“I mean, it wasn’t really the plan,” Bokuto says with a shrug. “It just sort of came out.”_ _

__“Well, either way, I’m satisfied,” Akaashi concludes as Kuroo approaches the group again, looking confused._ _

__“Why did I just walk past a bunch of random people running? Are we doing laps?” He asks, pointing over his shoulder at the door. “How much did I miss, I mean, I was gone for like two minutes. I even ran back here.”_ _

__“Oh, you missed more than you think,” Kenma grumbles angrily, only serving to make Kuroo more confused._ _

__“They’re just learning a lesson about respect the hard way,” Bokuto explains simply, and he leaves it at that, because as good as that just made him feel, Kuroo doesn’t need to know. This man has been awake for more than twenty-four hours, had two intense training camp days in that time, and is already feeling embarrassed. The last thing he needs to do is tell him that a bunch of idiots were making fun of him in exactly the way he was so worried about._ _

__“What did they _do_?” Kuroo asks, clearly still confused and too stubborn to let it go. Akaashi and Kenma both seem to pick up on what Bokuto is doing, looking to him instead of answering. Kuroo looks around the group. “Bo?”_ _

__“They did something disrespectful enough to earn them a lap around all the gyms on the hottest expected day of the whole training camp,” he answers finally. “Anyways, you don’t have to worry about it cuz they sure as hell won’t do it again.”_ _

__Before Kuroo can get another word out, a whistle blows and the coaches are calling everyone to the benches. Bokuto leaves Akaashi and Kenma to deal with Kuroo’s confusion as he rushes ahead to let the coaches know where their other players are._ _

____

***

“Akaashi, wait up!” Kuroo calls down the hall. The younger boy turns, waiting patiently as Kuroo rushes out of the showers and down the hall, fumbling to get his slippers on without dropping his clothes or his towel.

“What is it?” Akaashi asks as he catches up to him.

“Earlier today when I left the gym, what the hell happened?” Kuroo asks, still wildly confused. “I mean, since when does Bokuto care so much about respect. He was so serious.” And more importantly, why the hell would he need to be keeping whatever it was a secret in the first place? It’s all very odd.

Akaashi stops in his tracks with a sigh. He glances around the empty hall quickly before finally looking up at Kuroo. “He’s not gonna want me to tell you this. I assume that the whole point of him not telling you was for your own sake, but I also assume not knowing will make you crazy, correct?” he fires off quickly.

“Uh, kind of?” Akaashi just nods.

“The players running laps were some stupid underclassman who thought it’d be funny to tease you behind your back when your dad showed up,” Akaashi explains. Oh. “Of course, none of them knew a thing about you or understood the night you had, and a lot of us had a problem with that. Kenma looked borderline rabid, but it was Bokuto who scared the shit out of them and made them do laps,” he continues with a smirk. “Also, for future reference, never make Bokuto legitimately mad. It’s horrifying.”

“Noted,” Kuroo states, still in a bit of a daze. Part of him is a little hurt, but part of him is also really touched at how mad his friends got in his defense. In all honesty, if those kids think Bokuto can get scary when he’s mad, they’re lucky Kuroo didn’t know about it until it was dealt with. And they’re _really_ lucky they chose Kuroo to talk about. I mean, he had kind of been expecting this after all. But, if they had been teasing Bokuto instead and Kuroo had been there, you bet your ass they would’ve been _begging_ for angry Bokuto instead.

“You were upset about it before it even happened. I think Bokuto just didn’t want you to know you had been right,” Akaashi adds. “I think that’s part of what made him so angry.”

“Yeah I get it,” Kuroo assures him. “It’s kinda sweet, actually.”

“Bo, I got your pillow!” Kuroo calls down the hall, catching the other boy’s attention right before he can disappear into Fukurodani’s room.

“Oh yeah, thanks!” Bokuto calls back. “Sorry it didn’t help,” he adds when Kuroo’s finally close enough to hand it to him.

“It’s fine. Not like it’s your fault,” Kuroo replies with a shrug. “Thanks for dealing with me anyways. And thanks for today.” Bokuto is confused for all of two seconds before he looks defeated.

“Awe who told you? Did you ask Kenma? I knew he wouldn’t put up a fight,” he grumbles.

“No,” Kuroo laughs, although he’s probably right about Kenma’s desire to put effort into keeping a secret. “I saw Akaashi in the hall on my way out of the showers and I asked him about it.”

“It was Akaashi! How could he?” he asks, sounding genuinely offended.

“He figured I’d be more annoyed about not knowing what happened,” Kuroo explains.

“Oh. I guess I never thought of that,” he mumbles under his breath. “Sorry.”

“Dude, don’t worry about it. I appreciate the thought either way. I know you were just lookin’ out for me,” he replies, happy to see Bokuto perk back up a little. “Anyways, thanks for sticking up for me,” Kuroo continues honestly.

“Of course. You’d have done the same for me.”

“Oh they’d be doing laps until the sun went down.”

“Ah, the promise of bullies in despair. How sweet,” Bokuto laughs. “Now, go the fuck to bed!” he yells abruptly, pushing Kuroo aggressively back down the hall. 

“Okay, I’m going, I’m going!” Kuroo gets out between cackles, still being shoved towards Nekoma’s room.

“Go to your dumb futon, take your special pillows that your lovely father brought here, sandwich your stupid bedhead between those two bad boys, and have the sweetest fucking dreams that approximately eight hours can provide!”

“Thank you?”

And so he goes to his dumb futon. He takes those two special pillows. He sandwiches his stupid bedhead between them. And he knocks the fuck out until halfway through the next day’s breakfast.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it! 
> 
> Have a lovely day/night/evening/afternoon/morning or whatever.
> 
> Please sleep more than I do.


End file.
